When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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