Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She even gives head with a lisp.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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