Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
