I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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