It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
