She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Less talking, more tequila
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
