I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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