let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Your penis caused this!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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