I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
