Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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