Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
