so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
