Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
