i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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