2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
