he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize