Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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