I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
