It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize