I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize