You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
