I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
