oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
