mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
