So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
