I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
