i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
