actually, I'm a sock model
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
