how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
