what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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