Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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