I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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