Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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