dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
