Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
