You're so nebulous sometimes
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
