ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have already put on my inside pants.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
