I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
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Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
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I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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