my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
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It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
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If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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