he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm bleeding and have questions
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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