i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
