last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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