it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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