Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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