I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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