brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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