How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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