i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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