I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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