Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
