so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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