I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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