glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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