That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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