whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
