they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
