Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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