so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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