I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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