i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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