he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize